Manners go a long way, even in panhandling
moneyrelations :: Oct.17.2007
Hello, stranger! New here? How about subscribing to my RSS feed? Thanks for visiting!
Yesterday, I got panhandled. I’m out of $3.00.
Usually, I try to avoid panhandlers by specifically crossing the other side of the street but this time I was unprepared. I was walking to the bus stop to get to work when a lady comes out of the bus shelter and asks in a rather frantic voice if she could have enough for bus change. She mentioned something about forgetting but I could see that she had a transfer ticket in her hand (where I am from, you keep the ticket and you can make a transfer to another bus without extra money). Bottom line, she was probably off to work too and was looking for money to go home. But why ask me, a total stranger? Why not ask her coworkers at her place of employment? I gave her the money and a few seconds later, the bus came. She quickly got on the bus leaving me grasping at my purse, change purse, and an open umbrella (it was raining) to struggle with. I don’t think she even thanked me. Some gratitude!
This pretty much left me steaming the whole day. I should have said no, I don’t have any change. But despite the fact that I have quite a smart mouth on me, I am incapable of on-the-spot lying. I am only susceptible to those who ask me a direct question. It doesn’t work if someone just sticks their hand out.
Another example: not long ago, I was again waiting at the bus stop after doing some shopping. This scrawny looking kid, comes up to me. Very nicely, he said that he was sorry for disrupting my day shopping and if I could spare some change.
I blinked.
I wasn’t used to this type of panhandling. And just like I had imbibed some truth serum, I said yes. I handed him a fiver. He thanked me and said he wasn’t using it for drugs and alcohol. Doh! It actually never entered my mind. He asked me a question and I answered. It was a good thing that I had the five bucks or I would have been compelled to give him a twenty. But I felt better about giving him the money than the other lady due to his manners. So how do I categorize this type of spending? Charity or stupidity?
Charity, Stupid ::
8 Comments »
Did you enjoy the post?
Subscribe to Money Relations and the Comments as well.
Share in Social Media
Related Posts:
Miriam, you are much nicer person than I am. I would have say “No, sorry.” and walk away.
Hi GnS,
Well, Mother Teresa I’m not but I have bought Girl Scout cookies even though I don’t like them; tulip bulbs from Boy Scouts even though I don’t have a garden. I earmark each year for charity but these spontaneous situations really put me on the spot. I don’t know if it’s a situation of being caught off guard or if I need to grow a backbone.
In all honesty, even if they did buy drugs, at least he was having more fun with that $5 than you were! =p
Hi WordHugger,
Hey now, I can have fun without blowing (perhaps literally $5)!
I hope your charity/college fund wiki is going well.
I contend with this on a daily basis - I live in gastown, on the edges of one of Canada’s grittiest neighbourhoods, the “downtown eastside”. If I have change, I usually give it, after living here seven years. It may go to drugs, or it may go to a slice of pizza to get a bit of protein into a dreadfully malnourished body. Having said that, I don’t give if I’m given some kind of BS story, and I have to admit there are a few characters who just rub me the wrong way. BUT. I also think that I’m not being fair there — the reason people are on the streets panhandling is in part because they lack social skills, among many other skills. I think of how I get when I’m tired, cold, wet, and HUNGRY, and I sure wouldn’t be a model of politeness.
Not to be facetious but I wonder how Oprah would handle this or how other celebrities deal with charity. Like I said, I earmark money for charity every year but unexpected things happen or there’s a new world tragedy or there’s a work place campaign going on. Parting with an extra hundred bucks won’t kill me, but when do you say no?
I’m not the most socially aware person in the world but I come from a lower middle class family and we worked and saved hard for what we had. Now we are enjoying the benefits of all those early years going without. I understand there are extenuating circumstances but when do the excuses stop?
there have been a number of interesting articles in the globe and mail in the last month or so on the topic of panhandling. unfortunately i think most of them are ‘locked’, or i’d link to some. but one of the interesting points was that panhandling can be pretty lucrative, people pulling in upwards of $100 a day if they are seasoned and have a good spot. needless to say, a good spot is strongly defended by the incumbent. personally as a general rule i don’t give money to panhandlers because it feels that doing so just encourages the behaviour and i don’t want to do that for a number of reasons, one being that there are times where i’ve felt threatened by a couple of panhandlers who were trying to intimidate me into giving me money and that’s just not cool. however, if they’re asking for money or food and i happen to have some food handy (like a wrapped granola bar or whatever) i’m happy to give it to them. but it’s always seemed like they look at it in surprise and like ‘ok what am i going to do with this’. to be honest, i think it’s easy to give to panhandlers out of guilt, but really if you wanted to really help them, then volunteer at a soup kitchen or a place that helps them gain employment skills, or join in the lobby for low-cost housing. or if you don’t have time to volunteer, a cash donation (that you would have otherwise given to a panhandler) would surely be much appreciated and at least you have a better idea that the money will be used to help. all of us have a finite supply of money and we are so careful about shopping around for the best deal and getting the best bang for our buck. why don’t we expect the same value out of money we give away? i guess i am biased based on my experiences, but interestingly enough here in calgary with the boom, there’s also been a boom in panhandling. meanwhile, every retail/fast food place in the city is desperate for workers and fast food jobs are starting at $11/hour.
Hi centsprout,
I understand what you mean by “professional” panhandlers. I have heard about that as well, sitting at the same spot. Those are the ones I avoid. I just have problems with those that catch me unawares.
I too agree with you that there is help in the form of soup kitchens or shelters. However, I’m not sure how well runned those places are. Once on the radio, I heard there was this homeless guy trying to get off drugs. He complained that he had stayed in a shelter but went back to the streets because there was more drugs in the shelter than out on his own.
I really can’t comment intelligently on the effectiveness of our social system as thankfully, I’ve never experienced or witnessed street life. I do not know why these people are out there so sometimes I will give away some money that hasn’t been budgeted for charity. In fact, I reduced my cheque to United Way this year because of all these unexpected charities that crop up so I spread it out instead of giving it in a lump sum.
Finally, I think I will just carry some spare change in my pockets and not take out my wallet in case I encounter panhandlers. That’s just dangerous.